Lapse of Sanity
by Agent Frostbite
Summary: Charles Xavier doesn't let people touch his hair. This is a well-known fact. Raven is less worried that someone's taken over the Professor than she is concerned that he's started to go crazy. That in of itself wouldn't be so bad...if Erik wans't going crazy right along with him.


**A/N: What up, nerds? Guess who just fell headlong into another fandom? That's right; this gal! Yay!**

 **Naturally, new fandoms requires new stories, and this time, I'm gonna be good and actually post one of the new stories less than four months after entering the fandom. Hooray!**

 **So, tiny li'l disclaimer: No, I don't know what continuity this is in; no I won't wanna try finding out; no, I'm not gonna drive myself crazy over creating a whole new timeline of events where this happens. Just take the crazy as it is and have fun with it.**

 **(Because seriously, this is the product of 11 PM chatting with my sis because we were bored and opted to nerd out instead of sleeping. I don't care if this isn't in-line with their characterizations - though I tried my best to make sure it was - I enjoyed it, and I figured y'all would, too.)**

 **Without further ado, enter the crazy! Enjoy!**

* * *

The absolute _last_ thing Raven ever expected Charles to say to her was "I think I want to curl my hair."

She set down the book she was reading very slowly, eyes never leaving her adoptive brother. "Charles?" she asked, drawing the word out. He glanced away from admiring his own reflection in the mirror to her for only a moment.

"Well, not _curl_ it, but make it wavy again. Like it was in 1973-"

"When you were walking around on your own two feet, Erik made off with a whole stadium, and I almost shot the President?" she finished bluntly. He shot her an annoyed look. Yep, it was definitely Charles. "Should I even ask why?"

"I dunno. Just wanted to try it," he replied. She blinked at him, studying the telepath for a long minute. He eventually turned and looked at her properly. "What? What's wrong?"

"You…King of 'Don't touch my hair'… want to try making it wavy…for no reason other than to… _try it_?" He nodded slowly, as if she was the one losing her mind. She scoffed. "Y'know what? Jubilee loves playing hair stylist, and this'll be amusing, so go crazy." She picked up the book again. "Just don't cry on my shoulder when you hate it."

* * *

Normally, that would've been enough to dissuade him. He might've been this unflappable, occasionally amusing professor to the kids, but he was human like everyone else, so he had to whine, vent, and generally be grumpy at some point, just like everyone else. And considering that Erik was even _less_ included to put up with Charles when he became whiny, Raven withdrawing her eternal, sister-assigned job of person to whine at should've been enough.

Should.

But whatever lapse of common sense or sanity Charles was having has continued into the next day, and it now found the professor, Jubilee, Hank, Raven herself, and Erik in the telepath's study. Jubilee was styling Charles' hair in front of the mirror, and as crazy as the whole darned thing was, Jubilee was good. Really good. If Raven ever decided she wanted to style her hair without her powers, she'd definitely go to the teen.

"I still can't believe you're doing this," Raven muttered into the same book she'd been reading yesterday.

"It's not as bad as I figured it would look," Hank admitted. Jubilee gave a playful scoff.

"My mom was a hairdresser; I know all the tricks of the trade," she informed. "And don't worry, Prof. If you don't like this, it'll go away in a day or two. I'm not designing it to be anything permanent, just in case."

"Thank you again, Jubilee," he remarked with a grin.

"No problem!"

Erik had yet to say anything about this madness, and the longer he occupied the spot behind Charles' desk in silence, the worse Raven dreaded whatever he would say. There hadn't even been so much as a question of Charles' sensibility. In fact, he looked very un-Erik-like, leaning with his elbows on the desk and his head on his curled-up hands. If she wasn't her, she'd wonder if she was playing Erik to discredit him.

If that made _any_ sense at all.

They were almost all the way through before Erik finally spoke. "You should try dyeing it."

Raven set down her book and looked at the metal-bender as if he'd just grown another head and declared himself President of the World. She couldn't even make her voice work the way she wanted to.

And Charles 'Don't touch my hair' Xavier seemed to be in a lenient mood, because he actually asked, "What color?"

There was a short pause – in which Raven just about slapped them both for being so ridiculous – before he spoke again. "Lavender."

" _What_?!"

Charles did his contemplative frown. Hank looked beyond mortified. Jubilee was equal parts confused, intrigued, and anticipatory. "Hmm," was all Charles said about it.

She really _was_ losing her mind. Or maybe she'd lost it already.

"What the _hell_ is wrong with you two?!" she demanded, looking between them and not even wincing at her voice cracking. "You're gonna _what_?!"

"I didn't say I was _going_ to-" Charles defended himself.

"You didn't say you weren't!" Raven was standing now, and she might register the bemused look on Erik's face if she wasn't becoming sure that the two most powerful mutants she knew were going off the deep end, right in front of her. "Oh, my God!"

"Raven-" Hank tried. Jubilee was actually backing off with the comb, just a little. Raven could hardly blame her.

"I'll allow the California beach boy wavy hair, but _lavender_?! I draw the line. I'm _drawing_ the line, right now. No hair dye," she ordered. Jubilee looked considerably less frightened than most students would be, were they in her shoes. She only gave Raven a thumbs-up and went back to styling Charles' hair.

"It's just a fun thought, Raven. Nothing to dwell on," Charles said soothingly. "Certainly nothing to get upset over."

"I wouldn't actually dye it lavender," Erik added. She only shook her head.

"I'm gonna have a drink, and when I wake up tomorrow, you two better have your heads screwed back on properly," she muttered as she stalked out. She would have been less than appreciative to see their matching Cheshire Cat grins.

"Someone owes you money," Erik guessed. Charles chuckled.

"I don't think I'd be too far off in saying the same of you, old friend," he shot back good-naturedly. Erik chuckled.

"Less an exchange of money and more a bet of knowledge."

"I can't believe you two…" Hank muttered. Jubilee only laughed.

"Best styling session I've ever been in."


End file.
